Lessons from growing up in a community

The first 10 years of my life were spent in a community.

But not the type of community you might imagine. There were no hippies, ecstatic dances, or community circles. Instead, I grew up on a military base in Belarus (former USSR) between 1983 and 1993—the final decade of the Soviet Union.

And they were the best childhood years anyone could ask for.

My father was a military pilot, and my mother, an English teacher. Both hailed from the same small town in Kazakhstan, Kostanay, but their paths truly crossed in a smaller town called Bobruisk, Belarus. That’s where I spent my early years—on a closed-regime military aviation base.

This base was a world unto itself. Entry and exit were tightly controlled; no one could come or go without authorization—not even us kids. As you can imagine, this made for an incredibly safe and close-knit environment.

Looking back, I realize how much this shaped me. Recently, it dawned on me that my upbringing was a true community experience, and I’ve been reflecting on what made it so special. Here are the key lessons I took away:

Always open doors

The safety of the base meant no one locked their doors—not even at night. For us kids, this meant every home was an extension of our own. We roamed freely between apartments, considered other parents as our aunts and uncles, and always knew we had a support network. Whether it was a scraped knee or just a glass of water, we felt cared for wherever we went.

Responsibility was unavoidable

Growing up in such a tight-knit environment meant you couldn’t escape accountability. I still remember breaking a window with a snowball and running away, only to have my father gently—but persistently—ask if I had anything to confess. It turned out the homeowner had already told him. That experience taught me the value of honesty, integrity, and owning up to my actions—lessons that have served me well in life.

The street was our home

Within the boundaries of the base, the world was ours to explore. From the stadium to the airstrip, the post office to the supermarket, we wandered freely without adult supervision. The streets taught us independence, resilience, and how to create our own adventures.

Trust was everything

Parents had an unspoken pact of trust. It wasn’t uncommon for kids to sleep over at each other’s houses while their parents enjoyed a night out. For the adults, it meant having an extended family to rely on. For us kids, it meant endless fun and laughter, and a deep sense of belonging.

A strong sense of belonging

Although we attended a school outside the base, we always stuck together as “the kids from the base.” We had each other’s backs, supported one another, and carried a unique sense of pride and unity that made us stand out among our classmates.

Looking back, I see how profoundly living in this environment shaped me. It instilled a sense of togetherness, optimism, and trust in the world. I learned that life is a joyful, shared journey—and that there’s always someone to lean on.

I wouldn’t trade those first 10 years of my life for anything. They gave me not just memories, but the foundation for the values I carry today.

Marat